


Run, Run, Run

by RalphMayers



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-17 14:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3533357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RalphMayers/pseuds/RalphMayers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on what happens after Callie confronts Jude in his room. Spoilers for 2x19. Predictions for 2x20</p>
<p>"Was it Connor's idea?" <br/>----<br/>Connor had only glanced back to Jude, his expression so lost, Jude had had to clench his hands into fists just so he could stop himself from asking the paramedics if he could ride along.<br/>----<br/>He noticed more than let on. Which included all of the drama happening with every member of his new family. Jude knew it was their stuff to deal with, but just knowing about it was tiring and it wasn’t like he could turn off his brain. The added stress of that along with his drama was sometimes too much and he wondered how he’d handle it if it did turn out that his one real friendship was cut off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So after reading most of the fic out there in response to 2x19, I wanted to write some of my own. I hope it’s in character; I tried my best. Title taken from Kelly Clarkson's 'Run, Run, Run'.

“Was it Connor’s idea?” Callie asked.

“Just shut up.” Jude glared at Callie, wondering how their once inseparable relationship had come to this.

“Ex- _cuse_ me?” She questioned, taken aback by Jude’s rude response. Jude pushed past Callie, unable to take any more judgment and unnecessary and unwanted advice from his family.

“Jude! Where are you going?” Callie shouted after him. Jude sighed in frustration, holding back his anger, and more, his tears, as he turned around to answer.

“I need space. I’m going outside.” He said, hoping against everything that for once she’d comply and leave him be, along with anybody within their vicinity.

 

He knew it was rude and unwarranted but he slammed the door as he made his way into the backyard. Without his permission, Callie’s earlier question ran through his mind.

He knew it hadn’t been Connor’s idea at all. But he _had_ encouraged Jude to stay and participate in their illegal activities. Jude’s feelings for his best friend were uncontrollable by now, as exemplified by his stupid decisions. Even before then, he’d gone along with Connor’s persuasion and gone back to him despite all the wrongs he’d made towards Jude. Like dating Daria and kissing her right in his face. Or calling him a ‘little bitch’, which was so insulting and a reminder of the past verbal abuse he’d experienced in his past foster homes that Jude wasn’t quite sure how he so easily accepted Connor’s apology.

Perhaps it was because, on some level, he understood Connor’s actions. He was confused, and unlike Jude, his home life and family weren’t so accepting and open to questioning of one’s sexuality. Also, Jude was pretty sure that his sexuality was leaning towards gay, although he didn’t want or feel like defining it yet. Connor seemed like his was leaning towards bisexual, given that he wasn’t so opposed to kissing Daria. Jude couldn’t hold that against him, but he could hold the leading that Connor was doing.

Yes, Jude had finally confronted him about it the other day, but really, it hadn’t solved anything. None of what they’d talked or done had cleared up anything, and Jude was _so_ tired of the confusion and the inferiority he felt at having to watch and wait for Connor to make up his mind.

 

Jude looked around and finally sat against the big tree that was situated near the house. He curled an arm around himself and with the other, wiped the tears streaming down his face. He was so scared of what would result from the break-in and wondered if this was the end of his friendship with Connor. Jude could remember with utmost clarity the panic running through him, rushing after Connor and the girls as they hurried to get out of sight. Of the loud voice shouting after their presence. Of looking back at the familiar sound of the cocking of a gun. Of being pushed aside roughly, and watching in horror, as presumably Taylor’s dad shot his gun, and everything slowing down. The bullet whizzing past him and past Connor’s side. Not missing him, but not really going through his middle - of that Jude was sure. And finally, Connor collapsing onto the floor in shock, grasping his side in pain. Jude remembered acting automatically, not really thinking of what he was doing, just reacting. Kneeling down against Connor’s side, and laying a hand on his shoulder, staring at his face to see if he was alright but just seeing the grimace he was making. Noticing that there _was_ blood, and fuck, this was serious. Being semi-conscious of Taylor and Daria running back to them and Jude shouting at them both to call an ambulance. Wincing at the dark spots dancing in front of his eyes when the lights were finally turned on and Taylor’s dad could finally see the perpetrators that had snuck into his house, one of them being _his only daughter_.

After that, everything was a blur. Jude remembers the cops finally showing up, along with an ambulance and being asked for his information so the cops could contact his parents. Jude had barked out a laugh, because _wow he had parents_ and this was **not** going to go down well considering one of his moms was a cop herself. Jude remembers always staying within a 5-foot radius of Connor just so he could keep an eye on him, even as the paramedics worked on moving him onto a stretcher, and finally into the ambulance. Connor had only glanced back to Jude, his expression so lost, Jude had had to clench his hands into fists just so he could stop himself from asking the paramedics if he could ride along. Because he couldn’t, not now that Connor’s dad had shown up, and with one accusatory glance towards Jude, stepped into the ambulance to sit by his son’s side as they transported him to the nearby hospital.

By then, one of the cops had recognized Jude’s last name when he asked for it, and had made the obligatory call to Stef.

Jude sniffled and exhaled shakily. Fortunately, Stef’s and Lena’s first reaction wasn’t to reprimand, but to continuously ask if he was okay. Which he was…at first. Until he realized that this was a turning point in his relationship with Connor. Forget the unbelievable kiss they had shared in his room. _This_ would determine whether or not Connor would be allowed to interact with Jude at all. Which Jude was sure he wouldn’t. This wasn’t just going against Connor’s dad’s rules and beliefs. This was endangering his son, which admittedly, wasn’t Jude’s fault. It was Taylor’s dad, but still.

He had yet to visit Connor at the hospital. Not because he didn’t want to, but because Lena and Stef had advised him to lay low for a bit. Wait it out and let Connor’s dad to cool down. He _did_ know about Connor’s condition, though. He had to. He never knew how strongly his emotions ran until Stef had driven them home from the police station, after he’d given his statement, and hadn’t been able to close his and turn off his mind to sleep.

He’d laid awake all night fretting over Connor’s condition, thinking about the repercussions their actions would bring and whether it’d be resolved quickly and easily, or bring about even more problems, like Callie’s contact with Robert had. Just that thought caused Jude to clench his teeth in anger. What gave Callie the right to confront him in such a manner? Who was she to ask about his first and best friend like Connor was at fault? Like he was the only reason Jude had snuck out and joined the other three as if she’d never done it herself.

Jude had never fully gotten after Callie for all the thoughtless decisions she’d made. Like running away, continuing to contact Robert even though she knew it would only cause more issues, and last of all, pursuing a relationship with Brandon despite the fact that they were family, adoption papers notwithstanding. It seemed that Callie often forgot that Jude was 13, was growing up and was less able to turn a blind eye towards the mistakes she made. Jude may not speak up much or often, but he was perceptive of everything going on around him. He noticed more than let on. Which included all of the drama happening with every member of his new family. Jude knew it was their stuff to deal with, but just knowing about it was tiring and it wasn’t like he could turn off his brain. The added stress of that along with his drama was sometimes too much and he wondered how he’d handle it if it did turn out that his one real friendship was cut off.

Jude fiddled with the hem of his shirt and jumped when he heard Lena’s voice call out his name. Jude remained silent and waited for Lena to walk around and see him. She did, offering a small smile, as she moved to sit next to him.

Jude wasn’t sure whether to feel relief. He liked Lena and the comfort she brought him. She seemed to understand him the most and her advice was really useful, helping him in clearing his muddled thoughts. But right now, he felt like being alone. He wasn’t going to say so outright. He’d wait to see what she’d say to him.

“I heard you and Callie arguing.” She stated gently. Jude nodded.

“It’s quite uncharacteristic of you. Care to explain?” She prodded, softening her words with a quick touch to his hands. Jude looked down. It _was_ quite uncharacteristic of him. He could admit that much. Jude sighed and prepared himself to talk.

“I just don’t get why she’d ask me if it was Connor’s idea like I’m the one following after him and obeying everything he says. It wasn’t and she doesn’t know everything that happened. She hasn’t even asked me about that. She’s just gone off from what she’s heard.” Jude confessed. He hunched into himself as he readied his next words.

“She’s my sister. She’s supposed to have more trust in me. It’s like she doesn’t know me anymore.” He trailed off in a small voice. Lena offered him a sympathetic smile and put an arm around his shoulders, drawing him into her.

“Oh, honey. I know it’s disconcerting to face such a question from her, but you should try to see it from her point of view, huh?” Lena prompted, knocking her knee into his.  

“I know you guys haven’t talked much, so either of you don’t know much about what’s going on in the other’s life. Imagine Callie’s side. Ever since you’ve started to hang out with Connor, you’ve had more issues than you’ve had before.” She reasoned. Jude scowled.

“Oh yea? Now that I finally have a stable home and family? Now that I have an actual friend? It’s not like she hasn’t had her share of problems because of the same thing.” Jude rebutted. He knew he was being unusually difficult, but he didn’t want to concede that Callie had reason to believe such a thing.

“Look, I know I’m not going to be able to fix any of this.” Lena said, rubbing a hand up and down his shoulder comfortingly. “I actually came to look for you to tell you that Connor’s dad called, and at Connor’s insistence, you’re allowed to go and see him.” She smiled, maintaining eye contact with Jude, watching for his reaction. Jude stiffened slightly at the news.

“R-really? I can go?” He asked, unable to believe that Connor’s homophobic dad would allow him, the reason behind his son’s presence that night, to see him.

“Yea. In fact, we can go in a bit, if you want.” Lena mentioned, standing up and brushing off her hands against her pants. Jude looked up at her, unsure of whether he really wanted to go and face Connor. Now that he thought about it, he’d never considered that maybe Connor would blame him for getting shot. At Lena’s hopeful face, though, Jude nodded, standing up as well and following her inside.

“Hey, Jude. Are you okay? I heard you and Callie yelling at each other.” Stef expressed, moving to the sink to wash some vegetables Jude assumed they’d be eating later.

“Uh, yea, I’m okay. Mom actually said that I can go and see Connor.” Jude avoided her observation and waited for her response over his latter statement. He noticed she shared a look with Lena before facing him and giving him a fixed smile.

“Connor’s dad called and said so. I’m taking that’s where you two are headed? Do you need me to go?” She asked, setting the vegetables down on the cutting board and drying her hands on a nearby hand towel. Lena stepped forward.

“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll take him. You stay and finish up with what you were doing. It won’t take long anyways. Connor’s only allowed a half-hour per visitor.” Lena informed. Jude looked up at her, then at Stef. Stef nodded and clasped her hands in front of her on the counter.

“Okay, then. Be mindful of Connor’s dad, okay, Jude?” Stef reminded him. He nodded somberly and moved towards the front door.

“Don’t worry, I will.” He agreed. Once he was at the front door, Jude waited for Lena to follow. He hoped she and Stef weren’t talking about him. He still couldn’t get over the fact that he’d told them about he and Connor, even though it’d felt right to do. Connor had been so mad, and Jude had felt so young when Connor had told him he couldn’t be friends with him if he was going to run to his moms about every little thing. Jude knew he was allowed secrets. Every one of his siblings had some of their own, but he’d wanted to keep the communication between he and his moms open, something he hadn’t been allowed for so long.

As Lena finally came over and grabbed the car keys, opening the door to let Jude walk out first, Jude resolved that if anything else were to happen, he’d keep it to himself, unless he really needed to tell his moms.


	2. Confrontation

The ride to the hospital was silent. It seemed the lack of sleep was finally catching up to him, and Jude spend the majority of the ride with his forehead against the window, the weight in his stomach growing heavier as the sight of the beige and gray building grew larger in their sight. Jude stared at his hands as Lena found a parking spot within walking distance. He’d painted his nails blue after brushing his teeth; he’d seen Mariana’s nail polish and the idea had sprung up on him. So he’d taken the bottle and closed both doors to the bathroom, hoping that everybody else was busy enough to not barge in. He hadn’t been interrupted, and after he’d finished and had screwed the lid onto the bottle, allowing his nails to air-dry, some of his nerves had settled. Not much, but it had been something and he’d realized that he felt better by such a simple action because they were symbolically his suit of armor. It wasn’t much, or anything at all, but it gave him confidence in confronting Connor’s dad and responding to whatever he was sure to dish out at him and Lena. Hearing Connor’s dad’s disapproval from his son was majorly different than hearing it from the source and he hoped he had the strength to face him. 

They finally parked and with a click of the car key remote to ensure it was locked, they headed to the third floor where Connor was located.   
“You okay?” Lena softly asked. She grasped his shoulder as they stepped into the elevator. He looked over at her, and after a beat, nodded. He could do this. He could. His need to see Connor outweighed his uncertainty over the whole situation. Sooner or later he had to learn where they were at, all of them.   
Lena offered him a sympathetic smile, giving his shoulder a squeeze. They located the front desk of the floor, and after asking one of the nurses about Connor’s room, they headed over to it. Jude froze when they rounded the corner and found Connor’s dad standing in front of his son’s door. His whole posture screamed of defensiveness and his expression said no different. Jude looked over at his mom, her expression stony and unreadable. She and Connor’s dad shared a look and Jude watched them walk away from him.   
Now that he was here, Connor’s presence a mere few meters away, Jude wasn’t sure how to feel. He was certain that he was scared. Scared that this was something they wouldn’t be able to move on from or go back to where they were. Scared that Connor’s dad would resort to even more drastic measures to keep them apart. Scared that he and Connor’s relationship wouldn’t ever be the same. He knows he won’t know the answer to all those fears if he doesn’t go in, he knows that. But it’s still a difficult thing to do.   
As he’s waiting for Lena and Connor’s dad to come back from their talk, Jude settles against the wall next to the door and slides down until he’s sitting on the floor.   
Sometimes he wished that what he wanted didn’t come with so much complications. If he’d gone with Taylor, nobody would’ve batted an eye. But the fact that who he wanted was a boy changed things and he hated that. Maybe if he lived in New York he wouldn’t be facing so many problems, but he knew that that wouldn’t solve everything. People like Connor’s dad were everywhere and avoidance wasn’t going to be the answer to issues like this. People needed to be educated and talked through with. To try to understand where they came from and where their stance was rooted in. So Jude drew a breath and braced himself for Mr. Stevens response when he saw them walking back.   
“I’m gonna go get a coffee.” He simply said, giving both of them a weighted stare. Jude nodded, standing up from his position, watching him walk away and round the corner.   
“What’d he say?” he asked, observing her expression. Lena sighed “He still has his reservations but he’s gonna let you two see each other.” At his displeased look, she tacked on, “It’s not that he doesn’t like you Jude, but he’s going through just as much inner turmoil as you two.” Lena explained, or tried to. Jude gave her a quick smile in acknowledgement of what she’d said before he glanced over to Connor’s door then down to his shoes.   
“You ready?” She lightly asked. He moved over to the wall and sat down again. She followed his motions and he hoped that he wasn’t wasting his time having a breakdown, cutting into the little time he had to see Connor today. Jude choked up thinking this might be one of the last times he’d be able to without having Mr. Steven’s judgment hanging over his head.   
Jude opted to stay quiet, having no words to explain his emotions to his mom. Lena settled a hand over his own clasped ones.   
“I know how hard this must be for you, honey, I do. Losing a friend is one of the most painful things to go through.” Lena started. Jude kept his gaze on the floor in front of him. Maybe if he didn’t look over, the tears in his eyes wouldn’t fall.   
“Mr. Stevens made it very clear-“ Lena continued, and here Jude had to cut in. Because so much had happened between them and he had to make it clear.   
“-He’s not my friend.” He finished for her before she could. He felt her stiffen in shock, could feel her confusion radiate from her. Jude steeled himself to tell her the truth.   
“There were no girls…in the camping trip,” he began with a shaky breath. “It was just us. We kissed, and now we’re like…” He trailed off, unsure how to define the situation their behavior had put them in.   
Lena sighed as comprehension dawned on her. Poor boys. “More than friends?” She tentatively, but neutrally said. Jude looked over at her. “Connor, he told his dad.” Jude started but his throat tightened painfully and he swallowed, an involuntary sob letting out before he could stop it. Lena moved an arm over him and held him against her tightly. All Jude could do was cry as Lena consoled him the best she could.   
It must’ve been enough time for Mr. Stevens to grab his ‘coffee’ because the sound of a throat clearing, uncomfortably might he add, broke the silence. Lena pulled away from him gently and they both turned to see Mr. Stevens standing awkwardly a few feet away. Jude wiped his cheeks as discreetly as he could but he knew that he’d caught them. They shared a silent moment before they stood up and adopted the unconscious defensive stance Mr. Stevens stood in.   
Connor’s dad finally heaved an exhale, wiping a hand down his face before he said,   
“Jude, I-I’m sorry. I’m trying my best here to understand my son, understand you two, but it’s not so easy, okay.” He turned to Lena. “I know that this is something that I have to do by myself and not keep Connor locked up because I know that will only tear us apart. I don’t want that. I never wanted that. And I see that keeping you two apart is only going to encourage that.” Mr. Stevens stopped, looking like the next words were going to pain him. “I’m going to allow you to see my son. But you two have to keep out of trouble. I don’t want my son’s life in danger again, you hear me?” He commanded.   
Jude swallowed as he stared at Mr. Stevens’ hard gaze and nodded. He wouldn’t even comment on the fact that it hadn’t even been his fault. He was just grateful that he’d be able to hang out with Connor whenever and wherever he wanted. Hopefully, in the near future though, that little piece of misinformation would be cleared up. He didn’t want his best friend’s dad thinking that he’d put his son in danger so nonchalantly.   
“All right then. I think Connor’s still awake. He isn’t scheduled for more pain medication until another hour, so you better take advantage before he falls asleep on you.” Mr. Stevens offered, and Jude took it as an olive branch. He smiled at him then turned to Lena, who saw some of the apprehension in his eyes that he was feeling, and gave him supportive expression as she tightened her hand briefly on his shoulder. He returned her smile then waited for Mr. Stevens to do the honors. He pushed open the door and stepped aside.   
Jude wiped his hands on his jeans and exhaled shakily before moving into the doorway and into Connor’s line of sight. At his presence, the air in Jude’s lungs left him and he struggled before he could breathe again.  
Connor’s confused expression transformed into a bright grin and Jude wondered how he’d be able to function in the next hour or so. This was his best friend, yes, but today and right now was the start of something new, something different than before. This time Connor’s dad knew about them, and so did Lena, which meant something. Jude wouldn’t know what exactly that ‘something’ was until the end of the visit. He resolved to make it a good something and stepped further in. He heard the door close behind him absentmindedly as he made his way closer to Connor’s bed.   
Jude has his arms crossed loosely in front of him and he startled when Connor grasped his fingers, noting the color of his fingernails. “What’s this?” he asked. Jude smiled. “War paint.” He explained and they shared a look in understanding. Connor let go of his hand and Jude looked over at the TV mounted on the left above Connor’s bed. He glanced back to Connor and saw him shifting over carefully to make room for him on the bed. He laughed as he climbed in next to him, making sure he wasn’t sitting on any wires or pulling on his sheets, disturbing his injured leg. As he settled into Connor’s right, Jude marveled that though this intimated something more romantic, it was still the same position they shared when they played a videogame or looked at a video on one of their laptops.   
“What’re you watching?” Jude prompted. Connor peered down at him. He shared a cheeky grin before he said, “That space movie we never saw together is playing right now on TV. Wanna watch it with me?” Jude let out a short laugh before he nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm kind of embarrassed that I jumped to conclusions and made such a dramatic decision to have Connor suffer a flesh wound. I feel like we all overreacted and we kind of all deflated when we saw the episode and it turned out he was just shot in the foot. Don't get me wrong, that's still serious, but we were all fearing the worst, which is funny. Anyways, I really loved how this season ended and I hope the changes I make and the stuff I do keep is all right.   
> Second, I really wanted to write a quality chapter but in the end I couldn't. I opted to still post this up because I wanted to give you guys something. I do appreciate every kudos; they mean a lot to me. I also want to apologize for the crap writing. I haven't written in a while, including the first chapter I posted up and it's taking a while to get into the mindset again, so bear with me.   
> Disclaimer: the lines/scenes I used that are compliant with the show I do not own. They belong to their rightful owners and creators. This goes for the universe and characters. The rest is mine, though.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So after reading most of the fic out there in response to 2x19, I wanted to write some of my own. I hope it’s in character; I tried my best. Regarding Jude, I feel like they don’t give him enough lines and I was SOSOSO happy with how he handled his confrontation with Connor in his room and THEN THE KISS. Ugh. It was the best. I hope they don’t make his character like they did with Henry in Once Upon A Time, where they de-aged him even though he’s like 13 by now, as well. 13 year olds are young, yes, but if I remember correctly, I was able to talk more than just stating facts and asking simple questions. If you want to talk about the show, don’t hesitate to contact me at stolen94 on tumblr and fanfiction.net. :D


End file.
